"There's no normal life, Wyatt. There's just life. Now get on with it."

The Josh Wells Weekly, Episode 293

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Joe’s wedding. Me, Rob, and Joe hanging out after the ceremony on a balcony overlooking NYC. Congrats to the couple, Roxy and Joe!

A Mishmash of Random Thoughts

Open Bars

I did go to a wedding last Friday. It was a lot of fun, and it was good to get out of the apartment and do something super social. I don’t feel a need to empty out a bunch of details about the night here. I mostly just wanna share my newfound view on open bars.

Going into this wedding, I loved open bars. Coming out of this wedding, I think I’ve come to the realization that open bars are a young man’s game. I overdid it because I didn’t have to drive home and also, I lack self-control. I wasn’t super sloppy, but the hangover the next day was next level. I know we should collectively frown upon cash bars at events like weddings, but I’m starting to think a cash bar and forcing me to spend my own money is the only thing that can get in the way of me overdoing it.

But please, keep balling out and getting those open bars. They are a crowd pleaser.

The Last NOFX Show

About six months ago, the band NOFX, a band I love, had their very last show ever in California. They partnered up with this channel, Veeps, that for the price of $25, would allow you to livestream the concert. So, that’s what I did. As a fun bonus, you also get to hang onto the concert for six months. Since October, I’ve probably watched this concert at least once every two weeks or so. If you asked me what my favorite current album is, I’d have to say it’s this show. And that all comes to an end in five days.

As time keeps passing, it sorta weirds me out how much things have changed since early October, 2024. I feel like I’ve entered a new post-NOFX phase of my life since then and it’s been kinda not good. Here is a list of bad things that have happened since NOFX played their last show ever (in chronological order):

-I broke my phone.

-Trump won the election.

-I ended a relationship.

-My old car failed inspection. This one is a mixed bag of bad/good news. It failed inspection and it had been breaking down a bit recently and I decided I didn’t wanna put any more money into it, so I got a new car (new to me, 2019 model). It’s cool to have a new car but I didn’t really wanna be in the position to buy a new car and put up a down payment and also my monthly payments went up. So, yea, mixed bag.

-Got food poisoning which is bad enough on its own, but it also happened the day Carvana was dropping off my new car (and picking up my old one). That was a rough transaction.

-I fractured my elbow ice skating.

I’m not blaming NOFX for my misfortune but maybe it’s possible that the world became a lesser place when they decided to call it quits.

I keep watching their last show ever because I really enjoy it, but it also gives me this nostalgic feeling of “the good ol’ days” from waaaaaay back six months ago.

Expires in 5 days. I don’t know what kind of chaos to expect from life after that happens.

Rest in Peace, Val Kilmer

Val Kilmer died recently, and a lot has already been said and written so I’ll try not to repeat much of what’s already out there. I just wanted to put a spotlight on two of my all-time favorite movie roles that both happen to be played by Val himself.

1- Doc Holliday. Doc is probably my third favorite movie character of all time. I saw Tombstone when I was 14 and fell in love with it immediately. Of all the characters, Doc was the coolest. He lived life by his own rules. He gambled. He talked slick and had the best lines. He had a babe. He was good at shooting. And he was a smooth dude even when he was sloshed. The only downside to his character was that he was dying of tuberculosis. It felt unfair but also seemed oddly fitting for someone of that legendary status to live fast and die young.

2- Jim Morrison. I don’t love the Doors movie. In fact, I don’t really love most music bio flicks. But what I do love about music bio flicks is how they attempt to recreate beloved musicians for our enjoyment. Val Kilmer is a hell of a Jim Morrison. It’s a performance so good that I’m hard pressed to even try to imagine any other actor in that spot.

I also think the Doors movie helped reinvigorate the band’s popularity. It certainly did with me. I can trace my love of the Doors back to two things, 1- my mom’s copy of The Best of the Doors and 2- the Doors movie. And here I am at age 45, a total Doors snob who will tell you that I love everything about them, but the Greatest Hits and the movie are both overrated.

But not Val’s acting job. That was incredible stuff.

(My beef with music bio flicks isn’t really the movies themselves but it’s usually the creative license and the bungling of facts and creation of falsehoods used to create an entertaining narrative. It feels like a big sacrifice if you’re a fan of the subject in said movie.)

Honorable mention- Val playing Elvis in True Romance.

The King!

*The title of this week’s newsletter is a Doc Holliday quote from Tombstone.

Movie I Watched Recently

Still Crazy

(Prime)

This movie was just okay. It’s about a fictitious 70s rock band (Strange Fruit) who break up and about 20 years later, one of them starts trying to make a reunion happen. I love the premise of a 70s rock band getting back together in the late 90s. This movie is cool and fun at times, but I probably wouldn’t say it’s a great movie or must see. It’ll fill 90 minutes on a weekend afternoon though if that’s what you’re looking for.

It’s funny to me when I see a movie boast a collection of accolades and all I got to say about it is just, “it’s okay.”

TV show I’m currently watching

Jeopardy!

I haven’t started anything new in the binging dept so all I got this week is Jeopardy! A dude named Josh went on a six-game tear and that was kinda fun to watch. I don’t really have anything else exciting to report.

A lot of my TV behavior this week was comfort shows. I watched some Seinfeld, Futurama, King of the Hill, and Bar Rescue. TV’s been my go-to when it’s time to start doing stretches because apparently when you fracture your elbow, doctors and physical therapists give you stretching homework.

We may have the same name, but I feel like we’re complete opposites look wise. Maybe that’s what I’d look like if I shaved everything. Maybe if I shaved my beard and my head, I too could win Jeopardy six times in a row.

Album of the Week

All Dead Bars Go to Heaven / Dead Bars

Great band name and great album name. ‘All Dead Bars Go to Heaven,’ now that’s a religion I can get behind.

This was a very fun listen. I’m not sure how to exactly classify it. It’d be easy to call it “pop punk” but it’s a little too gritty for that. It’s definitely got some pop sensibility though and the tunes are catchy. I felt like this band could’ve fit right in at any Warped Tour I went to in the late 90s and early 2000s. I’m not sure if that’s something a young band wants to hear but I guess what I’m trying to say is that they feel accessible beyond their generation. They have a sound that I feel like young punks and old punks alike can get into.

Before hearing the entire album, I ran into the single, ‘Give the Metalhead a Hug,’ and fell in love with it. This song celebrates metalheads from a punk perspective. I felt that so much. I’m not a huge heavy metal fan, but I love metalheads. They’re usually a good bunch and a good hang from my experiences.

Damn, Heaven probably rules.

Book I’m Currently Reading

For Whom the Cowbell Tolls: 25 Years of Paul's Boutique / Dan LeRoy and Peter Relic

I purchased this book as part of my never-ending quest to consume all things Beastie Boys. It’s been a cool read so far. I’m not too deep into it but there’s some fun background stuff on Capital Records and how they became the label that would end up signing the Beasties after the whole ‘Licensed to Ill/Def Jam’ thing.

There was also a fun chapter about a track that was never released from the recordings about the Jerry Lewis dance which is a callback to a lyric from ‘Licensed to Ill.’ The song was deemed too poppy and wouldn’t fit in well with the new vibe the Beasties were going for on this album.

I can wax poetic about Paul’s Boutique, but I feel like that’s a ‘been there/done that’ topic with me. I’m looking forward to taking an even deeper dive into this album that I love.

Also, apparently this book is a sequel of sorts. There was another book about Paul’s Boutique for the ‘33 1/3’ series which is a book series that caters to music nerds of different shapes and sizes with deep dives into albums and artists. I’m hoping I feel content with this book and don’t feel the need to go back to the first one. But that’s a decision for later and also, I got the rest of my life to think about it.

Also, there’s a cool foreword by Sage Francis, another one of my all-time favorite rappers.

They were working on this book at the same time Mike D and Ad-Rock were working on the Beasties book, so it lacks interviews with those two for good reason. But it’s interesting to think there were two deep dives on the Beasties in creation at the same time.

Random sports thought of the week

I’m not very dialed into sports right now. I’ve already previously explained how I find March Madness challenging to get into because it’s like we’re suddenly supposed to pick up on all these things about a sport I don’t ever watch before the tournament. I just never found my moment to get into it this year.

And I could care less about baseball, but I suppose it’s being back is good news for boring people.

Right now, it feels like I’m on autopilot and just waiting on the NBA playoffs to start, which is usually one of my favorite times of year on the sports calendar. I’ll be riding the Warriors bandwagon most likely, but I wouldn’t be mad if the OKC Thunder do their thing and go all the way this year.

Steph Curry dropped 52 points on the Memphis Grizzlies on Tuesday night. It’s already undeniable to me that he’s the best shooter of all time but wow, to watch him still perform at such a high level this deep into his career never stops being fun to watch. This is such a great era to be a fan of basketball.

Random pro wrestling thought of the week

Hey, AEW’s Dynasty PPV is this Sunday. It feels like they just had a PPV but maybe I’m biased because the last PPV was the same day I fractured my elbow, and that day looms large for me and somehow always feels like “just the other day.”

Anyways…. here are some quick Dynasty predictions:

-Jon Moxley vs Swerve Strickland for the AEW World Title

As much as I’d like Swerve to win the title back, I don’t see it happening. Mox wins. I don’t envision him losing the title till All In (I predict he’ll lose it to Will Ospreay at that time).

-“Timeless” Toni Storm vs Megan Bayne

I’m more impressed with Bayne every time I see her in action BUT this is not where Storm loses the title. Storm wins. My guess is we’ll start to get a build for Storm vs Moné at All In.

-Kenny Omega vs Ricochet vs Speedball Mike Bailey

The fact that they made this a 3-way makes me feel like a title change is highly possible. Ricochet is a big deal and should hold a title at some point. Why not now? Ricochet wins. Probably pins Bailey so Omega has a quick course to a one-on-one rematch with Ricochet.

-Death Riders vs Rated FTR for the Trios Titles

Ugh, please let Rated FTR win this. They’re teasing some kind of FTR break up or Dax heel turn, and I am not feeling it. Rated FTR winning would be such a feel-good story. I’m picking Rated FTR in hopes that it will somehow help make it happen.

-Chris Jericho vs Bandito for the ROH World Title

Bandito wins and becomes the new champ. Fans will need to come up with something new to hate Jericho about instead of the common complaint that he doesn’t put over other talent.

-Daniel Garcia vs Adam Cole

Cole NEEDS to win this. So, I’m picking Cole but also, I’d like to see an Adam Cole heel turn. His babyface stuff is not working. Time to try something different.

-The Hurt Syndicate vs The Learning Tree for the Tag Team Titles

No way Hurt Syndicate loses this. I envision Hurt Syndicate to be a dominating force in the tag team division till at least All In, but maybe even beyond that.

-Will Ospreay vs Kevin Knight

This is a first round match for the Owen Hart Tournament, but it feels out of place in this PPV. Ospreay is obviously gonna win but my guess is he’ll make it fun and do his best to make AEW newcomer Kevin Knight look good in the ring.

Oh also, I predict Ospreay will win the entire Owen Hart Tournament.

-Mercedes Moné vs Julia Hart

This is another first round match for the Owen Hart Tournament. I’d prefer these matches to maybe main event an episode of Dynamite instead. But here we are. Moné wins. In fact, I think Moné will win the whole tournament.

AEW will probably announce 3 or 4 other matches for the PPV before Sunday. I can’t be held accountable for those predictions. Besides, hasn’t this issue of the Josh Wells Weekly gone on long enough?

Orange Cassidy in not on the card but he is not forgotten. Halfhearted thumbs up for life.

Top 5 All-Time Movie Characters

1- Jules Winnfield - Pulp Fiction

2- The Dude - The Big Lebowski

3- Doc Holliday - Tombstone

4- Marla Singer - Fight Club

5- Randal - Clerks (The first one. He falls off a bit in the sequels.)

Weekly Quote

“Youth is seen as everything. You don't know anything when you're young. It's great being older, just having a more balanced perspective. I wake up and realize that what seemed to be important last year no longer is. I'm increasingly grateful for every day.”

-Val Kilmer

Thanks for reading!

I am now on BlueSky. You can now follow me there as well as Instagram and Twitter at:

@joshaintfunny

If you haven’t seen it yet, please go to YouTube and give my 40th birthday comedy set a spin, and while you’re at it, a like, a comment, or a share would be appreciated and goes a long way as well. If you’re feeling really crazy, hit subscribe… no pressure.

I got some other videos as well if you want to check them out. I just uploaded a raw phone recording of my 30-minute set for my 45th birthday. Unpolished, unedited, warts and all, if you’re into that sorta thing. Go here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRg2MM2mOOvh1JKnDatFiBQ

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