The Day Donald Trump Dies

The Josh Wells Weekly, Episode 298

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I did a lot of comedy this past week and somehow this is my favorite photo from any of it.

Random Thought

Every now and again I feel this need to remind people that I don’t like Trump. He’s an idiot and embarrassing to me as an American and as a human being who understands what empathy is. I could probably write something scathing about Trump every week if I wanted to. The passion is there. Deep down inside my gut, soul, and heart, I hate that guy with almost everything I got. But I don’t wanna beat it into people and I don’t want that to become my personality. I’d also like to enjoy life and it’s hard to do that if I’m constantly concentrating on the unending shit parade of buffoonery and evil that is our stupid president.

So, it’s a balance game. I won’t write about Trump every week, but I also can’t repress it and keep it all deep down inside my being. This is my newsletter, my excuse to express myself and my thoughts so every now and again, this is gonna happen. And it’s usually because of something I saw or read about him that fills me with embarrassment. And embarrassment is the word for me. It used to be rage. I let Trump’s first term fill me with rage. There’s no more rage though. I’m not angry. I’m embarrassed (okay, maybe I’m a little angry, too).

Sometimes I like to tune into Fox News not because I enjoy it or believe anything they’re saying but because I wanna keep in touch with how the other side lives. I may not agree with Trump supporters, but I can’t ignore them. They take up a huge chunk of the population and I should know what they’re thinking and feeling which is usually reported by the soulless ghouls at that channel (It’s actually a vicious cycle though because not only does Fox News “report” on how they think and feel, they also define, inspire, and provide the talking points for them).

It’s always a scary ride but also sometimes funny at how transparent their mission statement is. The other day when I was checking in, there was a news story about how inappropriate Kamala Harris’s laugh was. Ain’t that something, Fox News using the adjective “inappropriate” for anything but the behavior of their Golden God? How could anyone who’s paying any sort of attention look at Trump and then look at this story and walk away thinking, “yea, the laugher is the inappropriate item here.” (Also, why are they still roasting Kamala some five months after she lost the election? Get over it. She’s the loser. You’re not supposed to let the loser live rent free in your very empty head).

On top of that, when recently asked in an interview if he has to follow the Constitution, Trump’s answer was, “I don’t know.” That’s scary and dumb at the same time. In fact, that’s what Trump is, scary and dumb, all the time. The dumb part is almost relieving. It’s like just as soon as I’ve had enough of the anxiety that comes with having a scary president, I remember what a dumbass he is, laugh a little, and somehow maintain faith that he’s just too dumb to completely ruin everything (he’ll ruin a lot of things, just not everything. I know that’s not a very hopeful statement but if you wanted hopeful, you probably should’ve voted for the inappropriate laugher).

He’s also taken a public piss on due process by letting that dude rot in a prison in El Salvador. And look, I know there’s a lot more Trump has done that’s bad. I’m not gonna list them all. But that due process thing comes from the scary parts of Trump, not the dumb. Not only is it probably illegal and highly unamerican, but it’s just fucking cruel. He’s a bad human being and I know we’re not supposed to take joy in the deaths of others, but I’ll be filled with joy the day Donald Trump dies.

I don’t know if Kamala Harris is a petty person but I am. If I lost the election, this would be me every time I turn on the TV to see Trump doing something new and stupid.

Movie I Watched Recently

Detroit Rock City

(Prime)

So, I’ve seen this movie available on Prime for quite some time, but I had convinced myself that I already saw it. But then I really focused on the memory and remembered that I hadn’t seen it. It was playing at a house party at my place (well, my mom’s place, I was like 20-something), and I was running around being a host and whatnot and didn’t sit down to watch the whole thing. I was in and out and caught parts of it but not the entire movie.

This was a really fun and cool movie. It’s a bunch of stuff I’m into. Teenagers doing cool teenager stuff in the 70s to the sounds of a really cool, rock heavy soundtrack (although a few disco tracks sneak in there as it was the 70s). And although I’m not really a Kiss fan, and there was a TON of Kiss songs in this movie, it was still very enjoyable. And also, even though I’m not into them, it’s undeniable that Kiss was probably the biggest thing in the world for the moment this movie is centered around.

It also features a young Edward Furlong and now I’m torn on what’s my favorite Furlong performance… Detroit Rock City, Terminator 2, or Arachnoquake?

This movie also features a young Natasha Lyonne who delivers one of the best lines in the movie. The fellas are diehard Kiss fans and total rock devotees which also makes them disco-haters. Lyonne’s character is a disco fan, and she tells the fellas that disco is so big that Kiss will eventually make a disco song and the fellas are all like, “no way!” but for those who know, the joke’s on them. Kiss totally goes on to make a disco song or “Kiss-co” as some people refer to it.

Movies like this will never win awards or capture critical acclaim. But I loved this movie, and I don’t care. You have your cinema and I have mine. This movie was a good time and maybe the most redeemable thing Kiss has ever been a part of.

TV show I’m currently watching

Jeopardy! Masters

I still have that last episode of Black Mirror to get to. I can’t find the time for it. I put a lot of the blame on the NBA playoffs, which by the way, have been awesome (more on that in the sports section below).

The Jeopardy Masters are here and is it just me or are the questions harder for the Masters? I’m almost sure they are but if they aren’t, one thing’s for certain, these episodes are making me feel even dumber than episodes of regular Jeopardy. At least for regular Jeopardy I’m able to come up with a lot of incorrect guesses. The Masters has been leaving me silent most of the time, not even knowledgeable enough to guess a wrong answer.

Sometimes I’m so bad at Jeopardy, I wonder why I keep watching. I think it’s because I like sitting down for 30 min and focusing on it. Even if I’m getting most of it wrong, I’m using my brain. I enjoy the thrill of trivia even if I’m bad at it. And if I’m gonna be bad at something I enjoy, I might as well watch it being performed at one of its highest levels.

Also, kinda wild that Jeopardy Masters and the NBA playoffs are at the same time. You have no idea how thrilled that makes me for this time of year.

I don’t think I’m rooting for anyone specific. I just hope everyone has fun. Also, can someone ask Fox News if Ken Jennings is exercising an inappropriate laugh here?

Album of the Week

Who Will Look After the Dogs / PUP

I don’t know what PUP stands for or if it stands for anything at all, but I thought it was kinda clever that the album title references dogs.

This was a fun album. PUP are some kind of emotional-punk but I wouldn’t dare call it emo. The vibe I get is more like some real punk rock people who are in touch with their feelings. And I’m all for it. Feeling things out loud is punk AF.

There’s a song featuring Jeff Rosenstock and this band has a sound that I wanna say is influenced by the likes of Rosenstock but I don’t even know if there is an age difference between them where one could influence the other. I could Google it now, but I won’t. It’s more fun to go with my gut. The vibe I get from Rosenstock is a dude near my age that I could probably hang out with and it’d be an okay time. The PUP vibe I get is that these dudes are noticeably younger than me. They could probably be a fun hang for a little bit but eventually it’d become more obvious that I’m the old man in the room and they’d probably have more fun hanging out with people their own age.

PUP definitely feels like they’re of a younger generation which is cool because that gives me hope for the future. I’m probably too old for the pit these days, but you’d definitely catch me in the back by the bar enjoying a live PUP show with an overpriced beer in my hand.

This is a great album cover. If this wasn’t already an album cover, and I found myself at some place that sells art and saw this as a piece, I’d be really tempted to buy it and hang it on my wall. It’s just the right amount of weird and fun.

Book I’m Currently Reading

Junkie / William S. Burroughs

I’m not sure what I was expecting, but so far, I’m enjoying how coherent this book is. This is only my third Burroughs read. The first one was Naked Lunch which is the craziest reading experience of my life and I’m still not sure what that was all about. The second one was that book he cowrote with Kerouac (And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks) and you’d think those two would end up pushing each other to color farther outside the lines but it somehow felt like the opposite effect. They kept each other’s writing grounded it seemed.

Knowing that this book was about heroin, I figured my sanity wouldn’t stand a chance at following along. But so far, I am following and it’s so far a very entertaining read. The start is a bit slow but then he starts selling heroin and the action picks up after that.

I feel like this book probably seemed more insane when it first came out in 1953. I’m not sure if anyone else was writing about heroin so clearly and with such personal knowledge before this. Heroin culture has been more widely explored in books, movies, music, etc since then but this feels like maybe it was breaking new ground and I gotta give Burroughs a lot of credit. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m desensitized or if it’s just his writing style, but he puts everything down so plainly that instead of the details being shocking, it just sorta feels like acceptable parts of an acceptable story.

It also doesn’t glorify heroin which is a good thing. There’s not been any part of this book so far that’s made me think, “damn, I should try this stuff.” I feel like any longform exploration of heroin will inevitably provide plenty of reasons not to succumb to that temptation. It just doesn’t seem fun, cool, or healthy.

More to go on this book so more to come…

This is the cover of the actual copy of the book I’m reading. There are some wild alternate covers though and if it takes me much longer to get through this book, I might use them in future issues of the newsletter.

Random sports thought of the week

The 2nd round of the NBA playoffs have already started to deliver. In each series, the underdog won the first game. Let’s get into it:

-Golden State Warriors vs Minnesota Timberwolves

Despite the Warriors stealing one in Minnesota and starting the series 1-0 (the series is now tied 1-1), I do not like their chances in this series. Steph Curry is out for at least a week with a hamstring injury, and I think that might be enough to do them in. The Timberwolves are really good and would’ve been a handful with a healthy Steph. I love the Warriors and will continue to root for them, but my brain definitely sees the writing on the wall. Timberwolves will win this series which is good because I did mention last week that I need to stop underestimating Anthony Edwards.

-Oklahoma City Thunder vs Denver Nuggets

The Thunder will prove to be too fast, too young, and too explosive for the Nuggets to keep up with. Thunder will win this series despite Jokic putting up monster numbers every game along the way.

-New York Knicks vs Boston Celtics

Going into this series, I believed that the Celtics were clearly the better team. Knicks won that first game and I thought well that’s a fun thing and it’ll make things competitive but the Celtics are still the better team. The Knicks won that second game and suddenly I’m like, wait a minute, are the Celtics the better team? That 2-0 hole is gonna be hard to climb out of. I would’ve never imagined myself writing this a week ago, but I think the Knicks will win this series.

-Indiana Pacers vs Cleveland Cavaliers

Repeat almost everything I said about the Knicks in the previous paragraph and replace it with the Pacers. What is going on in the East? Is this really gonna happen? Are the Knicks and Pacers both gonna upset the two most dominant teams in the East? I think so.

Great shot, great picture, elite use of social media.

Random pro wrestling thought of the week

Samoa Joe is getting a title shot next week on AEW Dynamite against Jon Moxley. I should be super excited for this. This is sorta a dream match for me. It’s two of my favorites (okay, I’ve soured on Mox a bit since the Death Riders thing began but before that, he was one of my current faves) for a world title match AND it’s going to be in a steel cage.

And I imagine these two are gonna get in there and put on a show. They’re both tough dudes so I imagine it’s gonna be physical and brutal and I should be super stoked for this but I’m not.

Don’t get me wrong, I will watch it. It’s still must-see. But the timing is off. It’s on the way to AEW’s All In PPV which feels like their biggest PPV of the year. I can’t imagine AEW investing in the Death Riders storyline all this time just to have Mox drop the title to Joe a few months before All In. And so that’s taken some of the hype out of this match for me.

Wrestling is funny like that. Everyone has their dream matches and for me this is one of them, but timing is also super important in wrestling and it just feels like there’s no realistic shot of Joe winning the title which bums me out. I’d like to watch this match at least thinking there’s a chance. Also, given my disdain for the Death Riders stuff, I actually would like to see Joe win the belt. I’d be okay with Samoa Joe vs Will Ospreay as the All In main event. But unfortunately, I just don’t think there’s a chance of that happening.

I’m still gonna watch though.

I just had to Google if these two have fought before. Here’s some proof. I’m sure the timing was off then too since I don’t even remember this match.

Top 5 Kiss Songs

1- Detroit Rock City

2- Rock and Roll All Nite

3- Strutter

4- Shout it Out Loud

5- I Was Made for Lovin’ You (aka the Kiss-co song)

(I did it and it’s done now but I could’ve done a Top 5 for songs on the Detroit Rock City soundtrack and not used one Kiss song.)

Weekly Quote

“Artists to my mind are the real architects of change, and not the political legislators who implement change after the fact.”

-William S. Burroughs

Thanks for reading!

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