The BIG 300... maybe?

The Josh Wells Weekly, Episode 300

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My mom came out to a show (she’s been to a few shows recently). I imagine she comes out to be reminded how much shorter than me she is. Thanks for the support and the laughs, mom… and also the giving me life thing. That was pretty cool of you.

Random Thought

I suppose if I wanted to, I could make a big deal out of how this is the 300th issue of the newsletter. It’s a nice round number and if I was gonna celebrate numbers, 300 would be a good one. But I’m not gonna do it. Age is nothing but a number and also, I have this odd thought in my head that if I went back and counted all the issues, the count might be off and this might actually be #299 or #301 due to a clerical error on my part at some point. We’ll never know for sure because I’m not gonna go back and count them all. We’ll just have to have faith in the idea that this is issue #300. Celebrate however you want.

I did go to the doctor this week for a check up on the fractured elbow and it was a pretty good visit. My elbow is healing and I have full mobility which is all very good. My elbow is still fractured though but it’s at a point where there’s not much left for my doctor to do. So, he told me he doesn’t really need to see me anymore and sent me off into the wild.

He also advised me that I could start lifting more things but that I should be real gradual about it. Don’t try to take on too much at once but work my way up to things. It was all very casual.

It felt a bit anticlimactic though. I guess I was sorta expecting some grand moment of being fully healed. Like a graduation for elbow fractures. Here’s your diploma that says your elbow is 100%. I am happy to not go to doctors or physical therapy anymore. I know it’s all good for me but I also find it all annoying on some level. I’m grateful for the medical professionals I dealt with during this whole thing, but there’s always gonna be a part of me that would’ve preferred to stay home and do none of it.

Most of the healing process has been patience (I HATE patience but I’m trying and have tried and think I'm doing well) and common sense. Things will heal in time. Don’t do anything stupid before it heals. The physical therapy was decent guidance on stretches I could use to ease and guide the healing process. And seeing the doctor was mostly so I could talk to a dude who knows how to read x-rays.

This is all very vital and important but there is a small part of me that wonders if I could’ve done all this on my own. I don’t wanna come off as one of these, “I do my own research,” mouth breathers you run into on the internet, but for all the money I put into this (my insurance was lackluster), I probably could’ve done some deep diving on my own to figure out stretches and how long to wait till a fracture heals.

I say “small part of me” because that’s obviously crazy, right? If you break bone, you’re supposed to see a professional. You can’t not do that if you have the means to do that. And I’m glad I did because if i didn’t, I’d always wonder if things would’ve turned out better if I did, but mostly I paid medical professionals to tell me to be patient and use common sense.

The most important things the doctor told me were about things I didn’t need: a sling, a cast, surgery. I was super grateful for all that and I probably would’ve never known for sure on my own.

Anyways, here we are. I’m on the mend, feeling pretty good, and mostly avoiding heavy things. It’s been a weird chapter in my life, one that taught me simultaneously about the fragility of the human body as well as the capabilities of the body to heal, adapt, and overcome. The healing takes so much longer than the breaking, but when I think of how far I’ve come from Day 1 when I took the fall, it’s astonishing to me how messed up my body was at one time compared to how well I’m doing now.

For no reason whatsoever, here’s a picture I took of a cat outside of a dispensary I went to. Looks like the dispensary is helping this cat with the munchies.

(fyi- I don’t indulge in pot stuff. I was there with a friend.)

Movie I Watched Recently

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead

(Prime)

This movie is dark and bleak. It’s about two brothers down on their luck who conspire to rob a jewelry store. But also, the store they wanna rob is owned by their parents. What could go wrong?

This movie was a real bummer trip. It is light on feel good moments. There might be none at all come to think of it. It just keeps going lower and lower into inner-family depravity. The one positive thing to come out of this movie is the appreciation I had for my family for not being so fucked up.

The older brother is played by Philip Seymour Hoffman and he’s a cruel, manipulative son of a bitch. The younger brother is played by Ethan Hawke, a lifelong fuck up but maybe with an odd streak of humanity somewhere deep down inside.

If you’re looking to get happy, this isn’t the place for it. If you’re looking for something that’s ugly and defies a collective idea of what good morality should be, dive right in.

This movie came out in 2007 and I somehow never heard of it till now. I live under a rock, a really tall rock.

TV show I’m currently watching

Jeopardy Masters

I have a hard time rooting for any one person in the Masters. I just like to watch all these contestants play the game on a high level. My heart strings do pull a little for Matt Amodio since he was the first super streak I watched as it was happening when I was just getting super into Jeopardy a few years back. But he seems to have taken a step back in his Jeopardy skills and even admitted as much during a ‘getting to know you’ segment where he mentioned he’s got a lot more going on in his life now which is ultimately good for him personally but that he thought he was a better Jeopardy player when he didn’t have as much going on in his life.

Anyways, Victoria or Yogesh will probably win the whole thing. It’d be fun if a dark horse won it all like Isaac or Juveria… especially Juveria who won a Second Chance tournament before becoming the dominant Jeopardy player she is today. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen.

Juveria is also the nicest contestant in the Masters. Maybe it’s because she’s Canadian. If you combine that with her second chance background, rooting against her would require a kind of bizarro-Jeopardy evil I’m not capable of.

Album of the Week

Watling Street Chambers / Kicked in the Teeth

This was a fun, hard-charging album full of punk rock aggression. There’s also sorta a barroom vibe going on. Or maybe it’s a blue-collar vibe, or some combo of the two. It feels like punk rock made by earnest punk rockers. It’s loud but not too loud. It’s fast but not too fast. But those aren’t knocks against the sound. There’s something welcoming about the noise that’s being made here. It’s rabble-rousing begging for other rabble rousers to join in and sing along.

It’s also anthemic at times without coming off as corny which I think is really hard to pull off in punk rock. And although I try to refrain from making comparisons, at times it sounds like Hot Water Music. It’s not derivative but definitely worthy of a, “if you like Hot Water Music, then you might like this a lot.”

Pretty cool album cover. Is that Death riding on a goose? I’m not sure. But I’m here for any combination of skulls and geese.

Book I’m Currently Reading

Lollapalooza: The Uncensored Story of Alternative Rock's Wildest Festival / Richard Bienstock and Tom Beaujour

This book is so much fun so far and has been hitting me with a major case of FOMO. I just got through the part of the book that’s about the first ever Lollapalooza tour and it really is such a great story. The whole thing was really just supposed to be a tour for Jane’s Addiction’s retirement from being a band. Perry Farrell is just enough of a maniac to think that it should’ve been this alternative rock traveling circus. This endeavor would change concert and festival culture forever. It really is a huge moment in music/concert history.

Big picture stuff aside, reading about the bands and some of their stories is really what makes this book enjoyable. That first year, they had Jane’s Addiction, Butthole Surfers, Rollins Band, Living Colour, Ice-T (w/ Body Count), and Nine Inch Nails. (An interesting side plot is how NIN were on the precipice of blowing up as Lollapalooza was traveling around the country).

Never mind wanting to be at the shows, I wanna be backstage for some of these stories and watching these bands get along and build and develop friendships along the way.

In hindsight, Lollapalooza almost feels like destiny. That was just the way it was supposed to happen. But in the moment, it felt more like a ragtag group of acts labeled alternative that had never been part of such a big thing that was so dependent on “alternative” culture and more importantly on alternative fans showing up and buying tickets.

It was a big risk and it paid off and even though we lose Jane’s Addiction at the end of that first one, what we gained was immense. Lollapalooza helped solidify and put alternative music on the map. It was now a commodity that people would spend money on. That in turn helped get the message out to kids like me looking for something to stick their teeth into.

Jane’s Addiction was just the sacrificial lamb for something much bigger, something I personally feel indebted for. 90s alternative rock is my shit. It helped a younger me navigate life and define myself and be okay with being who I was.

Also, Jane’s Addiction comes back a few years later (spoiler alert).

Can’t wait to read about all the other Lollapaloozas I didn’t attend to increase the FOMO. If we ever make time travel a thing, I’m using all my time travel to go to great concerts.

Random sports thought of the week

Here we are, Conference Finals of the NBA Playoffs:

Minnesota Timberwolves vs Oklahoma City Thunder

I think it was two or maybe three weeks ago when I said I don’t wanna doubt Anthony Edwards ever again. But here we go, one more round featuring the Timberwolves, one more round of me picking the other team.

I just don’t think the Timberwolves got the firepower to keep up with the Thunder’s hectic pace. The one thing the Thunder needed was to struggle a bit and overcome a challenge. I think they got that in their series with the Denver Nuggets and have come out of that a more battle-tested and better team.

Thunder in 6. But the future remains bright for Edwards and Minnesota.

Indiana Pacers vs New York Knicks

This series is a coin flip. I believe these teams are very evenly matched and it will come down to a game 7. I could see it going either way but since I live a few miles away from NYC and am surrounded by Knicks fans, I’m gonna do the nice guy thing and pick the Knicks to win in 7 just because everyone around me will be in a better mood.

But I in no way think it will be easy or obvious. If the Knicks get caught sleeping in any of these games, it could definitely go the other way.

Also, Tyrese Halliburton is the villain the NBA needs. He’s a fun bad guy to watch and the pro wrestling fan in me thinks he’s the NBA’s top heel right now. I don’t know if he should’ve busted out that Reggie Miller choke in Game 1 but Reggie was also a top heel at one time and played for the Pacers, so it makes sense. But Reggie’s Pacers also went on to lose that series. Is the choke a curse and does history repeat itself as a result? I don’t really believe in curses or luck or what-have-you, but if the Pacers lose this series, that will be talked about (But then again, it’ll also be talked about if they win so have at it, Tyrese).

I should be posting a picture of Shai Gilgeous-Alexander accepting the MVP award here (congrats and well deserved) but this picture of Tyrese Haliburton is just much more fun, and I like fun.

Random pro wrestling thought of the week

AEW’s Double or Nothing is this weekend and maybe I should use this section to make some predictions. But I can’t. I got something else on my mind that I just have to get off my chest.

What is going on with Anthony Bowens? I am not a fan of this “Five Tool Player” persona. It’s boring. All he does is shout about how well rounded he is at wrestling. There’s no personality. No feelings. I can’t find anything to get invested in. The only investment I have when I see him is that he used to be part of that tag team, the Acclaimed, that I really liked a lot.

And that’s what’s jarring to me, what’s happened to Bowens and Caster since the breakup of the Acclaimed. The Acclaimed were great. They were entertaining. They were popular. They had catchphrases. They helped reinvigorate a long-time vet of the industry. They pushed merch and inspired some of the coolest signs you’d see in wrestling crowds. They made “scissoring” a thing.

Not only that, the Acclaimed were a wholly organic AEW byproduct. It was the combination of two dudes who didn’t have a whole lot going on and for whatever reason, they found a spark and made it work. There was a moment when it felt like the Acclaimed were maybe the most over thing in ALL of wrestling, not just AEW.

Some could say maybe the Acclaimed had their run and it went on too long. I disagree. Maybe try turning them heel at least before breaking them up. Or if you’re gonna break them up, have a better plan. Bowens is vanilla. Caster, who has more personality, is saddled with this gimmick where he always loses squash matches.

I know it’s wrestling, and they could always reunite them when things get desperate. So, I would never say we’ve seen the last of the Acclaimed. But if you’re gonna try to put an end to something so popular, at least give these dudes a better path in booking. They both now feel very exposed and maybe a lot of that was hidden by being part of a tag team (with the help of Billy Gunn as well).

We didn’t know how good we had it.

Top 5 NBA Villains

1- Dennis Rodman

2- Ron Artest

3- Reggie Miller

4- Bill Laimbeer

5- LeBron James*

*LeBron James is the John Cena of the NBA. For most of his career, he has been one of the most popular as well as most hated basketball players.

Weekly Quote

"I had no idea that it was going to be this. I was in it for kicks. If I knew it was going to be like this, I would've never made it the last hurrah for Jane's Addiction, right?"

-Perry Farrell on Lollapalooza

Thanks for reading!

I am now on BlueSky. You can now follow me there as well as Instagram and Twitter at:

@joshaintfunny

If you haven’t seen it yet, please go to YouTube and give my 40th birthday comedy set a spin, and while you’re at it, a like, a comment, or a share would be appreciated and goes a long way as well. If you’re feeling really crazy, hit subscribe… no pressure.

I got some other videos as well if you want to check them out. I just uploaded a raw phone recording of my 30-minute set for my 45th birthday. Unpolished, unedited, warts and all, if you’re into that sorta thing. Go here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRg2MM2mOOvh1JKnDatFiBQ

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