Josh's War on Christmas
The Josh Wells Weekly, Episode 119
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My War on Christmas
I almost agree with the Conservative pundits who tell us we should keep the Christ in Christmas and not say, ‘Happy Holidays.’ But I think we should take it one step further. If Jesus isn’t your buddy-savior, I don’t think you should celebrate at all. Just drop it. No Christmas for you. Think of how relieving that’d feel. December can just be another month instead of being sucked into a vortex of rampant consumerism. Why give 1/12th of your year, every single year, to this maniacal concept of buying things for other people? Why do we stress ourselves out mentally and financially? It’s insanity. Wanna gather with your family? Go for it. Wanna buy friends/family/loved ones gifts? Go for it. But do it whenever you want, however you want. Don’t do it because it’s dictated to you by TV commercials and calendars.
And even if you’re tight with Jesus, there’s no way he’d be into this. Jesus was practically a hippie-socialist who’d probably find the worship of materialism this time of year nauseating. I just don’t think there’s any scripture you could possibly quote at me that would back up what an out of control money pit this whole thing’s become. There’s nothing holy about it.
Christmas is a scam that is perpetuated by the companies that make money on all the gifts you buy other people. They don’t care about Jesus or tradition or your family. They want your money and everything else be damned. This holiday has devolved into the worship of their bottom lines and profit margins. It’s grosser than fruitcake.
The Grinch is my homie.
Movies I Watched Recently
2015 was Amy Schumer’s year so sorry it took me this long to catch up.
This movie is okay. It’s your standard romcom. The best thing about this movie are some the actors who play some of the lesser roles:
Lebron James- himself
Dave Attell- a homeless dude
Colin Quinn- Amy’s problematic dad
Mike Birbiglia- Tom (actually, not that dazzling of a role but idc I love Birbigs)
and maybe the biggest crusher in this movie, John Cena. Amazing. Easily the most enjoyable thing in this movie, buttocks and all.
Honestly as a wrestling fan, I’ve pretty much already seen this much of John Cena (insert ‘you can’t see me,’ joke here).
I don’t know what I was thinking with this one. It’s from 1991 but it feels like an 80’s movie that missed the cut by 2 years. It’s about a son/dad duo who rob banks and yea I guess that’s cool and honestly, there are some cool things in this movie like car chases and super cheesy fighting sound effects. A teenage Corey Haim absolutely overacts his way through the entire thing. I don’t know… if you’re looking for some sorta nostalgia trip, I suppose this movie might do but there’s probably at least 100 better options.
Corey Haim flexing on all you fools.
Okay, I’ve seen this movie several times before but hear me out. I hadn’t seen it in a minute and I like to revisit movies I love and I had some free time so I coughed up the $4 to give it another spin.
I gotta tell you, this movie hit me harder now than it ever did before. I don’t know if it’s middle age or something and I just know how fleeting and beautiful being an outcast youth can be. It just made me miss hanging out and parties and friends of old. It’s like each character in the movie reminds me of someone I grew up with.
There’s also the ending and knowing what’s to come the entire time. I mostly think a movie will never be as good as the first time you watch it and that’s still probably true with SLC Punk, but knowing how it all ends, that shit is a punch in the gut. I just want to change it, rewrite it, avoid it… but I can’t. It always ends the same and it stings.
There’s also the fleetingness of being punk itself. There’s something beautiful about how idealistic you can be when you’re young and then all the sudden you’re in your 40’s and you think you’re still just as idealistic but you’re not. Life just jades you and grinds you down naturally. And I’m not trying to be a buzzkill here. But that’s what growing up is in a way. You have to learn to make certain concessions in life just to get by.
Anyways, if anyone needs me, I’ll be chugging a tall can of beer in the alleyway with a freshly cut mohawk.
Bob and Stevo
TV show I’m currently watching
Norm MacDonald Has a Show
With no idea what show to watch next, I dipped into this to try and fill that Norm void and it is delightful.
I at one time was way into the late night talk show thing. I think it’s just because I like to keep late hours that I used to always find myself watching a lot of it. But at some point I cut the chord and stopped and when I gave myself a little space from it, I found the whole late night format to be a tad played out. The interviews are usually brief and filled with softball questions or promotion for a new movie I’m not gonna go see, unless it’s someone like Corey Haim in the year 1991 on the Tonight Show.
And that’s why this show is refreshing. Norm breaks the mold. There’s no band, no monologue, and only one guest per show. It’s conversational and a bit unpolished at times so it feels more casual and less uptight than everything else. Norm seems to enjoy himself as do the guests. He even gets to kiss Jane Fonda on one episode. What a stud.
It’s pre-pandemic and it’s Norm so it feels like a total throwback even if it’s Norm already in his 60’s. It’s odd, offbeat, and funny just like Norm always was. The episodes are short but since it’s one guest per show, it’s just enough.
The Chevy Chase episode is probably my favorite episode so far.
Album of the Week
Things Take Time, Take Time / Courtney Barnett
This album was mostly okay. It’s a little too mellow for my liking and there seems to be a lot of heartache going on if you’re into that sorta thing. I was kinda hoping this album was going to be more of a distorted, fuzzy rocker. It wasn’t but I still like Barnett. I think she would’ve crushed as an alternative female rocker in the 90’s so she feels like people of my ilk. Here’s hoping the next album is a little more ragey.
Book I’m Currently Reading
Sellout: The Major-Label Feeding Frenzy That Swept Punk, Emo and Hardcore (1994-2007) / Dan Ozzi
I’m not too deep into it but it’s a great book so far. The intro starts us off where many good stories begin, Nirvana and the flood of alternative rock music that followed once they opened the floodgates with Nevermind.
The first chapter is about Green Day which is mostly a happy story. We all know how that ends seeing as they’re now one of the biggest rock bands of all time. There’s some sad undertones though when they’re disowned by their local bay area scene and banned to play one of their favorite clubs they grew up in, the Gilman.
What follows next though is the Jawbreaker story and that one kinda hurts coming off the Green Day story. For all intents and purposes, Jawbreaker were supposed to be the next Green Day. Kurt even handpicked them as openers for a Nirvana tour which was pretty much the Midas touch in the early 90’s. But for whatever reason, things don’t work out. Jawbreaker doesn’t really break though and they lose their connection with their smaller, more loyal fanbase in the process.
Just finished the Fallout Boy chapter and I don’t really know anything about Fallout Boy or have much of an opinion on them but it’s an interesting story. They were pretty much wholly unknown from somewhere in Arizona. They ended up on the B-side of the right 7 inch that caught the ear of an A&R at Capital and the rest is history. It’s slightly tumultuous at times but for the most part, is a true rags-to-riches story.
Random sports thought of the week
If I have any sense at all, I’ll stop placing bets on NFL Sundays. I almost always lose more than I win. I’m not betting the farm here… mostly just $10 parlays and whatnot to make things interesting. But I tell you this, if you wanna know who’s gonna win a game on any given Sunday, ask me who I’m picking, and then go with the opposite. You’re welcome.
Maybe this upcoming Sunday instead of making football bets, I’ll spend that money on pizza and beer and just have a fun time watching football instead.
The safest bet.
Random pro wrestling thought of the week
Bryan Danielson is the best thing in pro wrestling. His sneaky heel turn last Wednesday was a lot of fun and I look forward to him feuding with Hangman Page in the main event slot of AEW for the next few weeks. I suppose this ends with BD putting the Cowboy over as I can’t see AEW taking the title off their young babyface champ so quick, but I’m sure they’ll make a good show of it. I’m a fan of both these guys. I mean, BD is the man and my pick for best wrestler on the planet at the moment, but I’ve been on this Hangman bandwagon since Day 1 and am okay with him coming out on top in this one. I’ll be one of those idiots who chants, ‘BOTH THESE GUYS,’ during their match.
The best storyline in all of wrestling at the moment.
Weekly Top 5 List: 5 Holidays Better Than Christmas
1- my birthday (Dec 16th)
4- 4th of July
5- New Year’s Eve
“Another thing that pisses me off, talking about who started punk rock music. Was it...the Sex Pistols in England? Was it... the Ramones and the Velvet Underground in New York? "It was the Ramones!", "It was the Sex Pistols!" Who cares who started it?! It's music. I don't know who started it, and I don't give a shit. The one thing I know is that we did it harder, we did it faster, and we definitely did it with more love baby. You can't take that away from us.”
-Stevo in SLC Punk
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