Car Catch-22

The Josh Wells Weekly, Episode 299

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This was the line up at the second ever Wild Rover Comedy Night. It’s a new show and still has that new show smell. There’ll be comedy there every Sunday night till football season begins again. Check us out! (info available down below at the bottom of the newsletter)

Comics in the pic, left to right: Talj Howard, Josh Wells (me), Kate Lawlor, Gina Dee, Laz Vic

Here are IG handles if you wanna follow them (I think you should):

@jlatthecomedian

@joshaintfunny (that’s me)

@katewiththecannons

@fortunecookiegina

@justlazvic

Random Thought

I sometimes wanna get rid of my car.

I’m not going to get rid of my car, it’s just that sometimes the idea is tempting.

It just costs so much money to have a car. The monthly financing fees. The insurance fees. The gas. The upkeep. The occasional ticket. Every time something goes wrong and I need to fix it and that’s always the worst because I’m never financially prepared for that situation.

I enjoy the freedom having a car gives me. I can just get up and go and that’s awesome. I know if I got rid of my car, I’d miss that the most. But wow would I suddenly have a lot of extra money and I could do things with that money like go to NYC a lot and take busses and subways and probably never be bored. My life wouldn’t be more boring without a car, I’d just have to get more creative. And with NYC a short bus ride away, it wouldn’t be hard to come up with ideas.

My job is also a certain distance away where taking a bus is kinda possible but would be a major pain the the ass. I know two days of taking the bus back and forth to work would have me wishing I was spending all that money on a car again. It just wouldn’t be worth it.

Plus, I’d miss out on a lot of comedy. I could probably make up for that by committing to NYC more, but I’d miss my NJ homies in comedy and I’d probably see and be around them a lot less and have to turn down a lot more bookings because it’d be tough or impossible to get to them without a car.

But comedy is a losing game financially if I’m being honest with myself. I often pay more to perform comedy than I make. I’m not at a level where the pay is great or even very good and I’m in this for the passion and that’s okay because I enjoy it very much. But a lot of nights if I go somewhere and order a burger and a couple of light beers, I have already spent more than I made, and that’s before I consider gas and car mileage.

I don’t know man, things are hard out here. I’m not broke but I am feeling the economic crunch. Things did get more expensive. I also hurt my elbow and have insurance that has left me hanging to pay for a lot of things I wasn’t prepared for. I also won’t stop going out and having fun and purchasing things like concert tickets and all that costs money.

Having a car is freeing in a huge way. But it also feels like a burden at times. There’s no escape from the monthly financial commitment I’ve made. If I didn’t have to pay for all that, I’d be freer in a different way. I’d have to walk a lot more and I’d lose a bunch of time on traveling since it’d mean more busses and trains. But sometimes when I click 'submit payment’ on car related thing, something about the idea of being able to trade it all in to keep that money feels liberating.

How I feel when I think about all the money that goes into owning a car.

Don’t tell my 2019 Hyundai Elantra that I wrote this.

Movie I Watched Recently

Saturday Night

(Netflix)

This was a fun movie about the first episode ever of Saturday Night Live. It’s really about the 90 minutes before the show goes to air. No one knows exactly what’s going to happen and how it’s gonna play out. Who at the network supports this new show? Who’s against it? Were there ulterior motives for letting it air in the first place?

The pacing is frenetic. I really felt like I got caught up in the whirlwind of action and anxiety leading up to the show going to air. The casting and acting is incredible.

I watched this on a whim without much thought but in hindsight, I’m really glad I did. This feels like a really important chapter historically for comedy. As they mention in the show, this felt like the first comedy TV show created and featuring the first generation that grew up on TV. I think SNL has become such an institution that we sorta take it for granted just how radical it was and how much it helped shape comedy after that.

I did a bit of a Google deep dive after the fact and of course it’s not all completely factual and a lot of things that didn’t happen night of the show but did happen around that time got thrown into the mix for the sake of storytelling which is okay by me I suppose. I’m beyond expecting any film to be completely faithful to the facts. If the story fascinates me, I’ll usually take the time after the movie to look into it myself. If I do that, that’s how I know I enjoyed the movie and that was definitely the case here.

There’s this one scene where the Belushi character is having a moment of deep thought on the ice rink outside of 30 Rock in the bumble bee suit. He was skating around and saying he wanted to try a triple axel and this scene really stuck with me if only because he was being pretty reckless on the ice and that sorta gave me shivers given my own recent ice-skating mishap. This scene probably didn’t mean a lot to other viewers, but I found myself screaming at my TV, “don’t do it! Think about your elbows!”

TV show I’m currently watching

Jeopardy!

I’m not really watching any TV shows except for Jeopardy and I guess Monday’s edition of the Daily Show. Nothing really exciting to report on either front. Jeopardy continues to prove that I’m not that smart and the Daily Show continues to prove that Donald Trump is not that smart either. Luckily, only one of us is in charge of anything important.

Album of the Week

the world is still here and so are we / Mclusky

Mclusky is back. Where have they been? I don’t know. I’m not well versed on their history, but I believe they are breaking a long hiatus with this record. And by they, I’m pretty sure one of them is and the other two are new members. I think this is their story.

This album is pretty wild. It’s got punk attitude, but I’d be hard pressed to label it as just punk. It’s like making rock and roll music with hammers. The sound somehow taps into the more troubled parts of my psyche and when it hits, it’s very enjoyable. Is Mclusky music for disturbed people or is Mclusky disturbed people making music? Maybe we’re all disturbed, I don’t know for sure. But I enjoy the end result, rock music that feels like it’s on the verge of some sort of manic breakdown which might make it the most appropriate music for these modern times.

Quick fun story about Mcclusky:

They’ll always be near and dear to me. The first time I ever listened to Mcclusky, I was tripping on acid (This was many moons ago. I haven’t touched the stuff in a long time). That can leave a scar sometimes and it did. Their music completely blew my mind that first time and maybe they had an unfair advantage since I was under the influence of psychedelics, but it is what it is, and they happened to get heard in the right place at the right time.

What’s going on with this album cover? I have no idea. But it’s no surprise that a band with a sound, vibe, and graphic representation like this would somehow find its way to me under the spell of acid.

Book I’m Currently Reading

Junkie / William S. Burroughs

Just finished this one and this story was pretty wild, and it feels like a lot of the things that happened could never happen again in our current timeline. Burroughs is busted and it’s looking like he’s gonna go to jail and so he just goes to Mexico City and restarts his life there. It was almost too easy. Sure, he can’t step foot in U.S. again, but I just don’t feel like someone could get away with something like that so easily (he also has a wife and kid that he escapes out of the country with).

There’s also this part of the book where Burroughs starts talking about how a lot of heroin users start fleeing to Mexico City because of new laws that made heroin suddenly more illegal with greater penalties in America. It’s wild to me to imagine a time when heroin was new and the gov’t didn’t know anything about it yet so you could just sorta do it and if there’s no laws against it, I suppose there’s no repercussions.

Also, Burroughs has a wife and kid, and they don’t play a huge role in this book. I don’t even know how Burroughs wife can stay with him. And the kid wasn’t referenced to except for once and that was after the move to Mexico City. I feel like there’s a lot more depth to be explored with his family and how his junk habits affect his relationship with them and their lives.

The ending was a little sudden and not very exciting. But I guess that’s sorta the point of this book. It’s an insider look at life as a heroin junkie. It’s not necessarily supposed to be exciting. It’s just a normal life by junkie standards. I don’t wanna spoil it but when I got there, I was just like, “well okay, I hope everything works out for you then.” (Being that this book is semi-autobiographical, things do work out pretty well for Mr. Burroughs I suppose.)

This is a pretty fun cover for a book about heroin.

Random sports thought of the week

NBA Playoffs… LET’S GO!

Denver Nuggets vs Oklahoma City Thunder

This is by far the best series of the second round. OKC had a dominant regular season and the best record in the West, but the Denver Nuggets are playing the role of savvy vets who’ve been there before and it’s made for an incredible matchup. I thought the Nuggets were doomed after firing their coach right before the playoffs, but they have played better than I personally thought they would. I still expect the Thunder to win Game 7 and this series, but the Nuggets have made it a lot of fun to watch. And even if the Thunder win, it’s hard for me to watch any Nuggets game and not think that Jokic is the best player on the court, even if it’s in a losing effort.

Golden State Warriors vs Minnesota Timberwolves

This series ended on Wednesday with a dominant Timberwolves victory. I didn’t expect the Warriors to have much of a chance after Steph Curry got injured. The Timberwolves feel like a young and hungry team lead by a basketball maniac waiting to breakout and become the best player in the league. Is this the year? I don’t know yet. Whoever they get in the next round, I imagine it’s gonna be a great series and there’ll be no more easy wins.

I definitely think the Timberwolves are a threat though and there is something cold about watching Anthony Edwards, the future of the NBA, tear through two legends in back-to-back series (LeBron and Curry).

New York Knicks vs Boston Celtics

I love the NBA playoffs and so far this year, they have not disappointed. But if there is a sad story this year, it has to be the injury of Jayson Tatum. As a fan of the sport, I don’t care who you’re rooting for, I just hate to see it. I’d like to see all teams at their best at all times. This isn’t just an injury that will cause him to miss the rest of the playoffs, but he’ll also miss some of next season as well. Just brutal and unfortunate.

That being said, Knicks need to wrap this up. I predicted the Knicks to win this series when they were up 2-0 and Tatum was healthy. But Boston should not be overlooked now that Tatum is gone. The Celtics minus Tatum are still a good basketball team. Do I think they’re better than the Knicks? No. But they’re a cornered animal and unlike the Golden State Warriors, they can still cause some damage without their best player.

I still pick the Knicks to win. I just didn’t like seeing Knicks fans on social media already making plans for the Eastern Conference finals against the Pacers (I know this isn’t all Knicks fans, but I’ve seen a few of them out there doing this). Get the job done, take the Celtics seriously, and don’t play with your food.

Indiana Pacers vs Cleveland Cavaliers

Are the Pacers the biggest surprise in these playoffs so far or are the Cavs the biggest disappointment? I think the Pacers are a better team than a lot of people (definitely myself included) thought they were. But I also think the Cavs were beat up which is unfortunate for them. I’m not sure how I feel about the Pacers now. I don’t know if they’re destined to go to the Finals and even if they did, I don’t know how they’d fair. They’re still a bit of a mystery to me. But I will say this, they won’t be easy for anyone to beat and that’s enough for me to make their future games must-see.

MLB recently took Pete Rose off some ineligible list for the baseball hall of fame now that he’s dead. This feels like such an empty and shitty gesture. Sure, wait till he’s dead to give him his roses (no pun intended). Rose died Sept last year. What’s the difference between then and now except that he’s dead? I’m tired of watching institutions waiting for people to die to give them their long overdue props. How much greater of a story is this if Pete Rose was alive and well to see this day and accept it in person?

This is my analogy on the whole thing… there’s this person who dies and another person who hated that person for the past 30-40 years. But now that this person is dead, they decide they wanna make nice with their legacy and show up at the funeral and talk about how sad they are about it. I hate it and I think it sucks.

Random pro wrestling thought of the week

I think it’s kinda funny that John Cena and Dominik Mysterio will both probably continue to win matches and defend their titles in a similar manner. I don’t expect either of them to ever earn a clean victory. There’ll always be cheating involved. There’s always gonna be some kind of outside interference or a weapon that the ref didn’t see. It’ll always be controversy.

And for whatever reason, it’ll have opposite effects. I think people will continue to boo Cena but for some reason I think more people will start cheering for Dom. I don’t know the exact logic. Maybe Dom is young and fresh so there’s something exciting about it. Cena, on the other hand, is out here talking about how he wants to ruin pro wrestling. He’s saying some heel shit on a higher level, a level Dom just can’t attain due to no fault of his own. He just doesn’t have the years or the legacy to threaten “pro wrestling” in general and have it taken seriously.

I also don’t think Dom’s title run will go nearly as long as Cena’s. Cena’s title run should probably make it to somewhere near the end of the year so it flirts with the idea that he might actually retire with the belt. Dom will probably lose the IC belt at SummerSlam and fans will hate it and I’ll sorta feel bad for the dude who got put over to fill the role that will be that forgettable guy who ended Dom’s first IC belt run.

Maybe Dom should end John Cena’s final title run by out-cheating him. How fun would that be for Cena to put on all these classic matches in his final year only to be outfoxed by a young upstart who cheats better than he does?

Top 5 Songs About Heroin

1- Heroin - Velvet Underground

2- Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

3- The Needle and the Damage Done - Neil Young

4- Mr. Brownstone - Guns N’ Roses

5- Heroin Girl - Everclear

Weekly Quote

“I bet on my team to win every night because I love my team; I believe in my team. I did everything in my power every night to win that game.”

-Pete Rose

Thanks for reading!

I am now on BlueSky. You can now follow me there as well as Instagram and Twitter at:

@joshaintfunny

If you haven’t seen it yet, please go to YouTube and give my 40th birthday comedy set a spin, and while you’re at it, a like, a comment, or a share would be appreciated and goes a long way as well. If you’re feeling really crazy, hit subscribe… no pressure.

I got some other videos as well if you want to check them out. I just uploaded a raw phone recording of my 30-minute set for my 45th birthday. Unpolished, unedited, warts and all, if you’re into that sorta thing. Go here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRg2MM2mOOvh1JKnDatFiBQ

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