This newsletter is free, however if you like the content and you think it’s worthy of any sort of gratuity, feel free to drop a donation to:
Venmo:
@joshwells666
or Cash App:
@joshaintfunny
No pressure. Now, on with the newsletter.
My friend Nicole sent me this throwback picture from 2009. What a young stud I was (if my math is right, I was 29 in this picture). I’m holding a blue can Miller Lite which is no longer a thing and damn I miss that shirt.
Also, no koozie. This predates my koozie era.
Random Thought
The homeless guy who hangs outside of the QuickChek by me is mostly an alright guy. We talk sometimes and joke around and get along. But I know with each conversation, sooner or later there will be an ask. This will become transactional. He maybe doesn’t mean it to be that way, but that’s how it feels a lot of the time.
I give him money sometimes. Not a lot of money. I don’t even have a lot of money for myself. Sometimes I wanna tell him I got bills to pay and things are pretty tight for me right now, especially around rent time. But that would all fall on deaf ears I suppose.
And while I wanna respect him as a fellow human being, there are some barriers we will never work past. We’ll never really be friends. We won’t send each other friend requests on Facebook. Neither of us are inviting the other over for a BBQ. The front of QuickChek is the total confines of our relationship.
Some people will say things like, “he should get a job.” And I just think, okay, are you hiring this dude? Even if he could find someone to pay him to do something, he has no place of residence. No steady place to catch a good night’s sleep for work the next day. No steady place to shower and groom himself. If he did somehow find a job willing to give him a chance, he’d be doomed in terms of having the means to keep up long term employment.
And I don’t know what he does to get by. I have my ideas, but I don’t know for sure. I assume that he’s scrappy and creative and tough like I imagine most homeless people are. Whatever it is he’s doing, it’s working for the moment. He’s standing outside of QuickChek almost every time I walk past. His mere existence is a badge of survival in a world that mostly wishes they didn’t have to acknowledge him.
I totally believe the homeless are a sign of a bigger failure. There’s something wrong with our system. Somehow some people slip through the cracks and have nowhere to go and that seems insane to me because I’m pretty sure we have enough housing and food to take care of everyone. I don’t have the statistics on that but let’s just call it a hunch that I think the Big Bad American Money Machine could almost certainly afford to take care of everyone if the powers-that-be really wanted it.
Anyways, I don’t even know the dude’s name. I never thought to ask. Maybe I will after this or maybe I won’t because I’m afraid knowing his name will make it too personal.
The other day he got really mad that I wouldn’t give him $3. A lot of times I walk out of QuickChek, and since bags aren’t a thing anymore, my hands are full of stuff and I’m just like, “don’t have it at the moment.” (I probably do have it. But I don’t wanna put the 5-6 bagless items I have down somewhere and dig for money. It’s too much effort. So, I just say I don’t have it and hope he believes me.) And as I was walking away, he was yelling out loud to no one in particular, “Can you believe that?! Guy doesn’t even have $3 to give me?! Unbelievable!”
I wanted to be mad. A part of me wanted to turn around and dig in and tell him how we all got problems and start listing all the dumb financial shit I’m currently dealing with. But I didn’t. No matter how bad I think I have it at the moment, I’m still on my way to a home. It may not be the greatest home or the greatest building but it’s a place and it’s cozy and I won’t have to fend for myself on the streets and that’s gotta be crazier than whatever it is I thought I wanted to complain about to this dude.
Like I said, he’s mostly alright. I like the dude, or at least I think I do in the small doses I deal with him in. We’re both just trying to get by out here. I can’t fix the dude’s life, and I can’t fix homelessness in general. But what I can do is talk to the guy, look him in the eyes, and treat him as anyone should treat a fellow human, with some decency. Yeah, he’s gonna ask me for money again, but can you blame him? It’d be crazier if he didn’t.
Movie I Watched Recently
The Way Way Back
(Prime)
This was definitely an emo movie indulgence on my part. The main character (Duncan) is a young teen who lives with his mom (Pam) and new-ish stepfather. The stepfather has a beach house, and the family is going to stay there for the summer. The stepfather (Trent) also has a daughter from another marriage (Steph) and her and Duncan don’t really get along.
Anyways, this sorta hit the feels as a child of divorce myself who also had a stepfather whose family had a summer house. We didn’t spend entire summers there and there’s a ton of parallels missing between my life and this movie but in a sense, close enough. There was a vibe I certainly connected with.
Duncan feels out of place and lacks confidence. He ends up getting a job at a local water park and he has a cool wiseass boss (Owen) who is plenty flawed himself, but he does the whole “heart-of-gold” routine and instills Duncan with the confidence and acceptance he needs.
So, yea, it’s sorta an emo-ish coming-of-age movie for awkward dork children of divorced parents. If this seems like you’re sorta thing, give it a go.
There’s a big showdown between Trent (the misunderstanding stepfather) and Owen (the cool, understanding boss). It’s probably the scene packed with the most feels. Oh also, Steve Carrell is a total jerk in this movie. It’s an admirable acting job because I really didn’t like him for 90 minutes or so.
TV shows I’m currently watching
Devs
(Hulu)
I’m currently watching Devs with my girlfriend. I’m taking it slowly and only watching it when she’s around. It’s pretty good. A tech company is hiding a really big secret and when they bust a spy trying to work for them, things go awry. That spy has a girlfriend who didn’t know he was a spy, and she gets involved in the whole thing and it flips her life upside down.
The head of the tech company is played by Nick Offerman, and this is not a comedy so it’s a bit of a changeup for him. I’m enjoying it though. It has some slight Black Mirror vibes in terms of mixing technology with the darker side of humanity.
More to come…
King of the Hill
(Hulu)
King of the Hill is back. Everyone is older and the world has changed but the main characters seem to have all mostly remained the same personality wise.
Hank and Peggy moved to Saudi Arabia for years for a propane job. Hank retired and so they moved back to Arlen. They spend most of the first episode displaying how much the world has changed since we last saw the KOTH gang. They pile it on kinda thick and I’m hoping they got most of it out of their system in that first episode.
Once they laid that foundation down, the next couple of episodes were pretty enjoyable. Bobby’s grown up and manages a sushi restaurant with Mr. Souphanousinphone’s son. The new dynamic between Bobby and Hank is really good. Bobby’s no longer a kid so he can sorta relate to his father on a deeper level.
King of the Hill was like comfort food TV for me. So, I’m glad they’re back. I was worried it might be a letdown but so far, I’m into it.
More to come…
Bobby can drink now, and him and Hank have very different opinions on beer. I think I might be an old man because I found myself in agreement with Hank’s philosophy on plain ol’ beer with no thrills.
South Park
(Comedy Central)
In the latest episode, South Park goes after ICE and bro podcasts hard. They also make a good point that all these right-wing podcast bros are really just ripping off Cartman’s 20-year-old routine.
The first episode felt a lot more shocking than this recent one but maybe that’s because that one came out of nowhere after a long break for the show. It set a tone, and my expectations are now more in line for the remainder of the season. The motive seems clear. South Park is going full social commentary, and they have their sights set on Trump and right-wing bullshit. You never know with South Park though. They could switch it up at any point and change the theme entirely. I’m just glad that so far, they’ve made their intentions obvious and have pulled no punches.
Mr. Mackey joins ICE :( and Kristi Noem (US Secretary of National Security) kills a lot of dogs.
Album of the Week
I Beat Loneliness / Bush
Bush is back. I think I’ll listen to any album Bush puts out purely hoping to hear the reemergence of their classic debut album, Sixteen Stone.
Okay, so the truth is, Bush has never come close to putting out another Sixteen Stone. I think it may be safe to say that album is untouchable. This sounds a lot like what I thought it was gonna sound like, an older, slower Bush. The key components are still there. It still sounds something like polished grunge (although the sound’s probably become more polished over time. I think Sixteen Stone may be the closest an album can ever get to being “polished grunge.” In any other instance, the two can’t coexist. Sixteen Stone breaks universal laws.)
There’s also some slight synthesizer stuff going on. I don’t love it but it’s okay I suppose. Also, Gavin Rossdale is very sad about a chick, and I couldn’t help but wonder most of the time if the lyrics were about Gwen Stefani.
It’s not a bad album but I don’t think it’s anything to rant and rave about. If it’s enough of an excuse for Bush to hit the road so people can hear ‘Machine Head’ live, then I’m for it and it’s a job well done. I also can’t imagine the unbearable weight of your first album being such a classic and having to live up to it for the rest of your life.
But on the plus side, Bush will always be able to say they were the band that wrote Sixteen Stone, and have I expressed yet how great I think that album is?
Flowers. Bush. There’s a lot of plant stuff going on here.
Book I’m Currently Reading
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood / Quentin Tarantino
Usually, the movie’s based on the book but in this instance, the book is based on the movie. Who else but Quentin Tarantino would take on such a task?
I’m about a third of the way through and so far, it’s a very fun read. It’s breezy because I already have the movie in my head to help me move the plot along. But the book does go a little more in depth on certain things which is enjoyable. It gives you an idea of what a more complete version of this story would look like and a glimpse of the sort of stuff that probably gets left on the editing floor due to time constraints.
Also, Cliff Booth feels more like the main character in this book. Maybe that’ll change and it’s not like the book has been devoid of Rick Dalton’s narrative, but so far it feels to be more heavily anchored by Cliff’s story.
More to come…
I wanna like Cliff Booth’s character but Tom Jones’s greatest hits? Really?
Random sports thought of the week
There’s some real disrespectful shit going down in the WNBA right now. People are showing up to games and throwing green dildos onto the court during the game. I haven’t seen many specifics on the incidents other than one guy who got busted doing it saying he thought it was funny. Ugh. I don’t know, man. How insecure are you? The WNBA and women’s sports in general are starting to rise more in popularity and this whole thing feels like the actions of people who feel threatened by that.
In a dream scenario of mine, the men throwing the dildos would be punished by having to play against WNBA stars. Televise it. Let those dudes get embarrassed on a national stage. I know this would never happen, but I’d love nothing more than to watch professional female athletes take it directly to the haters and drub them in front of an audience of millions that includes their family, friends, and coworkers.
Anyways, stop being a dildo and stop throwing dildos. It’s not cool. You’re being a jerk. If you don’t enjoy the sport, change the channel. Stop ruining everyone else’s good time.
Look at this kid. Just look at him. The deepest bench player in the WNBA would scorch this kid on the court. The coaches would take this kid to the hole. The refs and commentary team would beat him by double digits.
Random pro wrestling thought of the week
I went to SummerSlam night 1 at Metlife Stadium, and it was a lot of fun. I got to “yeet” with 50,000 other people and I saw one of the sickest MITB cash-ins of all time (also, wow, does Seth now own the top two sickest MITB cash-ins?) I also saw Jelly Roll pretend to be a pretend fighter.
Here are a few random SummerSlam related thoughts:
-The Seth Rollins stuff is so good. Faking an injury and working everyone and having us wonder if it was real or not was masterful. The cash-in was a great moment to end a great night after a pretty great main event. I also enjoy knowing that over the past few years, we’ve been able to count on a member of the Shield being a world champion somewhere at almost all times. We went maybe a couple of weeks since Mox’s loss without one of the three being a champ. Those dark days did not last long.
-But also, props to CM Punk. He did it. He went back to WWE. He main evented some things. He’s been in some meaningful rivalries. And now maybe most importantly, he’s been World Champion, even if it only lasted a few minutes.
-I really enjoyed the Cena/Cody match which is crazy because they both kinda bore me. I was enjoying the Heel Cena stuff but maybe enough was enough. It did feel good to see him be a babyface and do the babyface routine and take in the cheers and appreciation.
-I’m not a huge Cody fan but he’s the guy for the job. He has one of the best wrestling stories maybe ever. He’s the youngest son of the beloved Dusty Rhodes. He quit WWE to make a name for himself. He got super over and helped revolutionize wrestling outside of WWE. And then he came back to WWE and now he’s “The Guy,” face of the company, the current top star. It’s hard to ignore his importance to the industry.
-Most of WWE’s top dudes are in their 40s (Seth is 39). I’d definitely like to see WWE start making some moves to build some younger stars in the next year or so. Time for dudes in their 30s to get some of that top-of-the-card shine.
Somewhere in that crowd I’m all, “HOLY SHIT!” about this moment.
Top 5 Bush Songs
1- Everything Zen
2- Little Things
3- Machinehead
4- Swallowed
5- X-Girlfriend
Weekly Quote
“I don't believe you should stay onstage until people are begging you to get off. I like the idea of leaving them wanting a bit more.”
-Quentin Tarantino
Thanks for reading!
Follow me on IG, Twitter, and BlueSky:
@joshaintfunny
If you haven’t seen it yet, please go to YouTube and give my 40th birthday comedy set a spin, and while you’re at it, a like, a comment, or a share would be appreciated and goes a long way as well. If you’re feeling really crazy, hit subscribe… no pressure.
I got some other videos as well if you want to check them out. I just uploaded a raw phone recording of my 30-minute set for my 45th birthday. Unpolished, unedited, warts and all, if you’re into that sorta thing. Go here:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRg2MM2mOOvh1JKnDatFiBQ
Upcoming Shows
Sun, 8/10
Wild Rover Pub
Guttenberg, NJ
Fri, 8/15
NEXT HELL YEA! ALERT!
Fri, 8/29
Staten Island, NY
